Lindsay...
if you're reading this...
i'd like a moment to tell you I finally understand how you felt.

I'm in anguish cause everyone (excluding jennifer) has a wii...
even my bible study teacher and all the other teachers have one...

DARNISH!!!
one of my greatest fears is feeling left out and shunned by others...
i need attention though i may not look like i want it...

but that's not an invitation to hug me even more (lindsay i'm talking to you!!)

I just wish people would notice me more and actually listen to what i'm saying...
despite the fact that my voice is really small and i tend to hang around corners and sink into the darkness...

whatever...

it's not like a deserve attention though cause i'm a jerk, and i'm cold hearted...

for example...

i'm pretty sure i won't cry when my dog dies...
pretty sure... but that could change over time...

i'm really antisocial and it's hard even to talk to my closest friends openly...

i'm just a really horrible person...

so please don't feel bad for me and leave comments pitying me...

that is if i even get comments...

sometimes i wish i was a boy...
maybe then i wouldn't be so moody...
or perhaps is i didn't exist...

my aunt never says me name or even talks about me...
only peter and my parents talk about him more too.
it's like i don't even exist...

and i haven't left much of an impression on others in my life so it wouldn't be that bad if i disappeared right?

i'm not gonna suicide though...


bad idea.